My Favorite Energy Drink
For me there has always been one drink that always picked me up: Jolt Cola.
Okay Sherman, let’s turn the Wayback Machine to 1987. A young Ferret was a senior in high school and there were no labor laws yet to govern those under 18. This meant he was also working 45 hours a week. So, how did he maintain good grades (let alone, enthusiasm to go to school) and work that much? Lots and lots of Jolt.
My day started with waking up around 5:30 and drinking a can. Then, it was the long walk to the city bus stop – then the long ride to the second bus. Go to school, wait for third period where I’m allowed to eat and drink and grab another can of Jolt. Then came lunch. Another can with the federally funded food. After school, it’s off to work. Two buses later stop at the store and grab yet another can. Yum. Get off work at 10:00, trundle home, do homework and start again the next day. Life was good.
But, unfortunately Jolt had a bad habit of disappearing from the world and I had to search high and low to get it. Over the course of the next 18 years my love affair with the beverage would grow (when I could find it) and I was content.
Recently, I went on a quest to find it again and found their website (http://www.wetplanet.com) and found my favorite beverage with a new look and a new container. Gone was the old red can/plastic bottle. Now, it came in a 23.5 oz “battery bottle” (kinda’ like a metal bottle with a screw top lid). Also, it came in more than one flavor. There was Jolt Silver (kinda’ like Sprite with caffeine), Jolt Cherry (Cherry cola the way god intended it!), Jolt Blue, and ULTRA Jolt. I quickly ordered a 12 pack because I thought the price was right…after the shipping and handling was added in the price became less right. But still, it’s Jolt and it’s worth it.
4-6 weeks later my package arrived and I opened my first can (original flavor, of course) and noticed that the taste was not as I remembered it. I took a look at the ingredients and noticed that it now had Taurine, Guaranna, Ginseng, and B Complex Vitamins? My beloved cola had become just another energy drink! It now had five distinct aftertastes. It was good, but it just wasn’t the same. Part of my childhood had been taken from me!
Later, I tried the Jolt Blue. And the only way I can describe the “flavor” of this one is Blue. It tasted like nothing I had ever tried before. I honestly believe that nature never intended for this taste to exist. Still, I persevered and finished it.
My next stop through beverage hell was Jolt Silver. It wasn’t that bad, but those same aftertastes I get from drinking the abysmal Red Bull were there.
Finally, I tried Jolt Ultra. This one couldn’t even be classified as a soft drink because it had hardly any real soda in it. It was more like Amp or one of those Monster drinks – and the worst part is it didn’t have SUGAR in it. Sugar has always been one of the key ingredients in Jolt. Ironically, I liked the flavor of this one the most (go figure).
I still haven’t tried Jolt Cherry yet, but I’m almost afraid to order it.
I guess at times like this I’m starting to realize how all those folks felt when Coca Cola changed their recipe back in the mid 80s. Maybe, just maybe, the folks at Wet Planet will come to their senses and bring my beloved cola back to me some day…
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